Uncertain yet still Upbeat!!
Hi People ... How are you?
I'm still very much up in the air in terms of the uncertainty of my life and the direction it could take! It's so unbelievable how things can fall apart - and then you can be so kicked while you're down. The wierd thing is ..... I should be really worried and stressed and hurt and anxious .... and on one level I know I do need to get my head, heart and future sorted fairly quickly ... but honestly, I've never felt this much at peace in a long long time!!
I was writing in my journal the other day, making two lists (I love making lists, especially 'to do' lists - they make me feel like I'm acheiving something just by writing the stuff down! Dont mock me - you know I'm not the only one who does this!!).
Anyway....I had one list of things which I was doing, and which were secure four months ago. It included things like the places I was employed, budgets, and personal stuff about how I felt, friendships, family stuff etc.
Then I wrote another list of what the situation is like now - and all of the things which I had written as 'securities' four months ago, have now either disappeared, or have taken a serious battering. Added to the list are new personal difficulties and battles I'm facing at the moment.
What interested me was that as I was writing (and when I write I dont really tend to think too deeply, it just sort of pours out of me onto the page/screen) at the end of the second list I wrote 'needing God'.
As I read over the lists it really hit me that in the first list I didn't mention God at all and in the second list I was 'needing God'. Maybe there's some kind of lesson there? I could write and write here about what I feel that showed me, and what that has showed me about my faith, and faith in general .... but I have to go now (my Mam is waiting to have lunch with me!!). I'll leave you to ponder on that and I'll elaborate next time.
Until then ...... be Good and take care
Jayne
posted by Jayne @ 11:45 AM
3 Comments:
After months of impatience, I'm on-line at home now :)
So the world of blogging beckons...
(http://bruceseviltwin.blogspot.com/)
You and your lists! lol! Actually, making to do lists is only a good idea if you actually do something about what you've written. I've a to do list on my desk at work - and it does come in useful - it gives you a chance to see the bigger picture, as you write down everything that's going on. So often we can get engrossed in something that at the end of the day is not that important - but it makes us feel good, or it's easy to do. Taking time out to include everything else helps with putting things into perspective. (why didn't I write this in my blog???)
Hope you had a nice lllllllunch!
jan-yay if only you knew what a huge and massive inspiration you are. The amount of times God has used you in my life (without you even knowing it) are huge!! I love you and I miss you and not having a car makes my whole world stagnant! Shall we organise a girly meal out? no boys! somewhere eay to get to on a bus or metro? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Lean on the Lord Jayne. He will lead you where He wants you to go. Just relax and trust Him always. He uses you in ways you never know. Your music and words have spoken to me many times and lifted me up. You seem to write what I feel. God is good and HE LOVES YOU, so much. He wants the best for you, so let Him lead you His way. God Bless you Jayne.
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